Random Christmas Stuff

Yes, it’s going to a bullet sort of post.

• Baxter bought me new flannel pjs this year, which I opened early in order to be able to schlump around the house in them.  They are pink zebra stripe and were only $15 at Army and Navy, so they didn’t even break his little budget. 
• The Christmas newsletter that I started, oh, three weeks ago?  Isn’t done.  After the initial flurry of creativity, it died.  I will resurrect it to be a New Years Letter when all this hoopla is over, so look for it then. 
• I am officially ready for the big day – my gifts have all been sent to various parts of the country, I have things to bring to people I am visiting, my wine rack and snacky cupboard is stocked for Rock Star noshing (during the holidays I gravitate to a grazing-all-day type of eating on tiny portions, much like I imagine Rock Stars do)
• After my 3 clients this evening, I am finished coaching until 2012, AND I only have 8 more hours to do until I have all I need for accretidation.  I don’t even care if that was spelt right…
• Two more sleeps until I am in Victoria, sipping wine and watching Love, Actually with my dear Monica.  Ah.
• In my absence from the blog, I have been making plans for 2012 and beyond: I booked hotels for San Francisco in January, registered for a Leadership Program which will take me to California three times for retreats next year, I mapped out all the workshops and seminars I will run until the end of 2013 and blocked out three plus weeks for a trip to Thailand just over a year from now. 
• I went through a few weeks where I was sort of stuck on the idea of finding a new partner in my life, but that has faded, somewhat.  I still would like to share my big life with someone, but I am certainly not waiting until I do to carry on with any of my plans.  I just trust it will happen at some point, and plan to carry on my merry way.
• I am now one of those people who is planning a life overhaul as of January 1 – I have managed to put on some weight over the past year (I blame cheese, wine, certification, a knee injury, discovering that truffle oil is really, really good on, well, almost everything, and some good old fashioned laziness), and have plans to get rid of it.  If my knee has forgiven me for running the marathon earlier this year, we will be attempting a half in Ontario in the fall.  And flax?  Is my new friend.
• Baxter is going to the spa tomorrow in order to smell semi-lovely for all of our visiting this weekend.  You’re welcome.  Best $50 ever spent.
• I bought a cigar for myself for this coming weekend – a Cohiba #4.  After considerable research with Man, this was the one I found I liked the most.  I am looking forward to a thoughtful evening enjoying it with a glass of wine (I would have it with scotch, but I no longer have access to the selection Man has)
• Speaking of Man, we had a lovely little lunch together last week.  We exchanged gifts (he went WAY overboard, but that was fine with me!), and it was actually very fun.  He’s a funny guy, and I’ve missed getting to be around him.  It was fun to laugh about our happy memories and collectively forget the bad stuff that we’ve left behind.  We’re still a team, in some ways, and we’re working together at this new relationship we have.  Fourteen years of being Team Awesome is hard to just forget (and is somewhat impossible to do), and we both seem to be adjusting well. 
• I was watching a (dumb) show the other day where they walk new dog parents through choosing an appropriate puppy and (this why I even watched) this episode featured basset hound puppies (I’m sorry, but there is nothing cuter than a baby basset who has yet to grow into its ears).  The breeder talked about how this breed is happy and extremely friendly (which I know to be true), and also that they are extremely attached to their people.  This is something I *knew* but had kind of forgotten, but it’s true of Baxter, too.  He isn’t just my dog, I am his Person, and he is very tied to me.  It still breaks my heart to have stressed him with the separation and angst in our home last year, and it hammers it home so much more to remember his little perspective.  He went through some devastation, too, and has come out happy and well-adjusted, but it’s no surprise that he has bad days, too.  Aw.  Makes me love him even more.

I am not going to even pretend that I will be back here before the 25th, so I wish you all a very Merry Day this Sunday…I hope the fire is warm, and the company is inviting, and that amid all the wrapping paper and hoopla, that you experience some plain ol’ JOY for having a few days of festivities with those you love most, both near and far.  I will have his puppiness with me and will be doing just that.  Cheers!

Dating. Kinda. Sucks.

I struggled with the title of this post…”Observations about online dating” seemed too nice. “OMG.  I have to start bribing my family to take care of me when I’m old” seemed too dismal.

So I stuck with what I used.  And it does.

I’ve had some adventures and misadventures this year in dating land; there was Mr. Dressup (who I hear has moved in with his new girlfriend and I hope they will be very happy, dressing up together), there was Mr. Condescending, and now there are plenty of people with whom to spend some time, but are stll lacking, considering I am really looking to be a part of a Team Awesome again.

I am on a few dating sites; one involves some fish (on which I barely have a profile – there is no photo, just the prompted information I was asked for, yet I still get a list of “matches” sent to me each week)(shake your head with me, folks), one involves a misguided cupid (with which I have had some success in the past but I still have my reservations), and the third is apparently matching me with people “at the deepest level” (this apparently means my deeepest level is calling out for portly old businessmen…)

So here are my observations:

• How, exactly does “Matching” based on an empty profile work?  This seems super scientific, indeed.
• As I’ve seen discussed in several places lately, it’s anonymous, which makes people lack a certain accountability.  People can ask inane questions and then run away (and I actually  picture that, much like ringing a doorbell and then dashing off into the night; they type quickly, then screech out of the room).  It leaves me puzzled.  Would you walk up to someone and say,  “Hi, yr hot.”  and walk away??  Do they honestly think that’s going to work?  It’s the online equivalent of whistling at someone as you drive by, hoping that they’re going to say “Oh, wow.  I really want to know more about that guy in the Mustang.  I better flag him down!”
• Grammar doesn’t matter.  And oh. It should.  I am not picky, I’d just like for people to use WORDS.  If I wanted to be texted with annoying shorthand, I would provide my number.
• People forget that we aren’t IN A BAR!  You can’t jump into my inbox and say “Hey” like you could in person.  Onlining it requires that you USE YOUR WORDS, Boys.
• People, with whom you share time and ideas and lengthy email exchanges, can just vanish.  This happened recently.  Although we had graduated from the site’s communication system to email (a good step, I thought), he still just vanished.  Perhaps he is stuck under something heavy.
• If someone asks me one more time which sport I coach, I am going to lose my shit.
• It gives people who are punching waaaay out of their weight class an opportunity to get in your space (case in point: Mr. Dressup).
• The user names? Gah.  So pleased to see that “LurkerDave” checked me out.  I’d be discouraged if it didn’t give me such great comedic material.
• It’s too tempting to be sarcastic, or to say what I really think.  For example: I had one message months ago that simply said, “Hey, howr you?”  I normally would have completely ignored that, but I was feeling particularly punchy and instead replied with “Really?  Really?  Are you serious?  You expect to engage me in a conversation with THAT?  Did you even READ my profile?  I’M FINE.”
• I have to constanly have my wit on – it’s tiring.  It doesn’t seem to ever be simple.  I am looking for the wearing-sweats equivalent to dating.
• No one ever seems to want to meet.  We can email and email for centuries,  (despite my rule about not replying to anyone whose profile shots are all taken with a webcam – it makes me doubt that they’ve ever been outdoors) and it makes me wonder if these boys ever LEAVE their apartments.  If I don’t feel a spark, I would like to know before I spend hours crafting correspondence to you!
• What ever happended to old-fashioned dating?  Before the internet?  Does anyone remember?
• I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: I do not require intimate photos of you in order to be interested.  We all assume everyone has the appropriate equipment.  It is not necessary for me to see it prior to meeting.  If we actually meet.
• It takes a lot of time – I barely have time to communicate with people that have already decided they like me.
• It’s like a long and tedious job interview, and sometimes you don’t ever even find out if you got the job or not.
• If there IS to be a meeting, then there’s a whole new sort of crazy-making: lots of effort – hair washing, outfit picking, makeup applying etc.  And the angst.  Hoy.   I’m a pretty confident chick, and know this is a numbers game and that my worth isn’t hinged on whether some dude also thinks I’m fabulous, blah, blah, blah – but it’s still a little stinky of Rejection when you get all gussied up and it falls flat.  Or he shushes you in a coffee shop. That was a big, fat indicator that it won’t be going too far; he was a Quiet Talker (I had to lean waaaay in to even SORT OF hear him (and truthfully just ended up nodding a lot – I couldn’t tell you half of what he said), and when I spoke quite normally (at low Tara Volume), he looked horrified that I was sharing personal information so loudly in a coffee shop (!)(the horrors) and SHUSHED ME.  Yup.  We’re all done here.

Oh, yes.  It’s funny. Isn’t it?  It’s hilarious.  Well I’m here to tell you this is what dating is like now.  What walks on the beach were in the mid 90′s has been replaced with being “easygoing and outdoorsy” and it’s exhausting.  My flatulent Basset is looking better all the time.

 

Crap. I missed November.

Seriously.  My last post was the last day of OCTOBER.

If you are a fan and were hoping to stay up to date, I hope you’ve been using your imagination.

What have I done?  Well..

• I hade a date with Nate.  He’s 8-ish months old and we had a fantastic time.  Baxter fell a little bit in love with him and so did I.  He refused to sleep, and the bottle was EVIL, but we had a great time, and it was lovely to see that his parents did, too. 
• I finished my certification program.  Aside from actual coaching and freaking out about my oral exam in April, I am done and will have much more time now for sleeping, writing, and making meals. 
• Helped some dear friends move across the country from me.  I used to have a cat who would unpack my suitcase as I packed it (cute, but I HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH!), and I did consider pulling the same trick as I “helped” but thought better of it.  Suffice it to say I miss them, I get to whine about it a lot, and they seem to be setting in well.  Their pumishment for moving is freezingness.  Ha.
• Got my hair did – too much was cut off and I seem to be growing it back at less than my super quick pace (honestly, I think I can grow my hair by thinking about it), but it’s snazzy.
• Baxter had a bath and smelled good for approximately 31 hours.  It was nice while it lasted.  He has another date at the spa just prior to visiting other (non-dog) people’s houses for Christmas.
• I found a new massage therapist and left my appointment feeling muscle drunk.  Can’t wait to go back.
• Beer Boy made me lots of yummy food. 
• I went to Whistler for a weekend and had a Double Down.  I now think about them so much that I am troubled.
• I socialized as much as I could.
• I coached, and coached, and when I thought I was done, I coached some more.  I love coaching.
• Went to Maek It! Vancouver and bought stuff – I would love to say I got lots of my Christmas shopping done, but I actually just bought a lot of stuff for myself and a few gifts.  I’m my own Santa this year, so I was just preparing.
• I got my shit together to get divorced: statements collected, taxes filed (WEEE!), appointments made….we’re almost there
• Went to the Apple store to get help with Dick the Laptop – updates will be made, and iPhoto library has been RECOVERED!
• Worked pretty hard at work – lots going on in Retail Land.

Sorry to have dropped off the earth for a month – I’m back, baby, and it’s the SUMMER OF GEORGE!

Stay tuned for riveting tales as they occur, and by that I mean more stories that are perfectly suited for bedtime reading!

xo

t