Weekend of Nothing

You know what I didn’t do this weekend?  Much of anything.

In true Tara fashion, my version of “nothing” still meant I walked the dog until he was gasping in the heat (he doesn’t like the sun and functions best when it’s cold and dry – so close to the ground he is), triumphantly mowing the lawn all by myself (I started it up just like a lumberjack), seeing several friends for dinner, grocery shopping, and spending a day cooking.  In my jammies.

It was amazeballs awesome.  I loved every minute.

Aside from it being the first long weekend in THREE HUNDRED YEARS (or something like that), it was also the first completely single, unattached and free weekend I think I may have ever had.  I wasn’t staging a house, running for a ferry, packing, crying, unpacking, entertaining or doing anything I didn’t absolutely want to be doing, and I could not be happier.  Well, if I had another day off, I could possibly eek out a smidge more, but I’m happy all the same.

Here’s some photographic joy from the chick who never remembers to bring the camera anywhere (they’re all in the apartment or the back yard):

Thursday evening - smooches on the sofa

Aloof and unwilling subject

Sun bathing

Enjoying the mowed lawn - terrified of the mower when parked, but lazed on the grass and could easily have been mowed over...silly boy.

This weekend was brought to you by the Cactus Club (Thursday with Jenn and Christine and our mini-Sedin eye candy), Sarah (roast chicken and taboulleh (sp?) which I have re-created for myself, it was so good!), Erin, Martin, Baby Max and Maria (roast turkey and fixins’ (no VEGGIES!! HA!)) and my flannel pj’s.

Hope you all had fun, too.

Wednesday Woes II

I love Diary of a Modern Matriarch.  She posted this today at her Primal site, so I jumped right on the complainy bandwagon and well, here we are.  Life is good, blah, blah, blah…and it goes against all my Pollyanna training from my childhood, but I feel like bitching it out.  I refuse to look at the bright side, I refuse to put my chin up.  I am just going to enjoy the suckitude.

• my hips HURT.  My long run on the weekend left my left hip very sore, and now the right is joining in on the fun.  I am just trying to get through to the race before completely falling apart.
• A friend of mine is dating someone that he thinks I “hate” – and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  I like to see him in the company of people he enjoys and I LOVE to see him happy and the few times I’ve met her, I’ve found her to be wicked-smart, articulate and positively lovely – they’re great together – I don’t waste my time hating anyone because it’s a big fat waste of my time, I just don’t like that it’s affected our friendship in unexpected ways.  He seems to have changed and taken his friendship away since meeting her, and that’s my issue with it.  Doesn’t he know there can be room for everyone?
• Our Dog Nanny has left us, which means I spend lunchtime bolting home to let the cross-legged dog out for a pee.  It also means he is way less socialized lately.  Looking for a new one is making me want to drink.
• It isn’t Friday yet.
• I am not likely to go on a vacation with Man until February of next year.  He is going away in November (on a trip I likely wouldn’t enjoy) and while I know he needs a sunny holiday,  I’m going to miss him like crazy (we’ve never spent more than a week apart in 14 years!) and I wish there had been a little more intention to his vacation planning.  It’s water under the bridge, but it still sucks.
• Tyler Clementi’s story makes me sick.  So does bullying.  I wish he didn’t have to jump from a bridge for us all to realize what needs to be done.
• It looks my last living Gramma has a big tumor in her brain and that she might not be around much longer.
• There are giant spiders in my basement.  Seriously.  I deal with them, but I scream the whole time.

Ok, so maybe I didn’t have that many woes.  In true Me fashion, I will now flip it, even though I didn’t want to do so:

• it is so sunny out that I have trouble dressing in the morning; I bundle up for the morning, but my noon, I’m gleefully ipping off my clothes and opening the sun roof on my car….weeeee!
• I get to go away with Man this weekend to Kelowna for the race.
• Race will be over in 4 sleeps.  Holy crap.
• Man is able to peek in on the dog today, so I can have lunch the way I like it; seated at my desk working
• I ran the fastest 5K in a long time last night. 
• I’m having dinner with a dear friend tonight and I can’t wait to see her
• We have a big exciting month to look forward to: dinners in, dinners out, weekend guests, hot tub soaks, cozy fall stuff.
• I am sure I’ll be getting a PB at the race this weekend, by more than ever before.
• It’s flannel pj season again!
• I’m writing again and it feels good
• I sourced out the perfect furniture for my home office, and it’s even affordable!
• I start my 30 day yoga challenge tomorrow…wee!

What about you? What’s going wrong and right for you?

Wellness

I know I’ve been absent for a few days, and it feels surprising that it’s been that long already.  I know I’ve been camping out in my life lately, but trying to find some balance as I go; making time for friends, Brian and the pets, fitting in fitness and eating well, taking care to do my day job well, and all that as I plan for my business launch event and website debut on the big Internet.  I feel like I’m balancing pretty well and keeping my eyes on the prize, remembering that this is all a glorious sprint to the start and thankfully not a pace I will have to maintain for the long term. 

I still carry my struggles with me, I’ve learnt that some things are always just there.  I am trying not to focus on my lack of progress in fitting back into my clothes I was wearing only 6 months ago, living with humility that gaining back some weight has given me.  It’s hard not to get stuck in it, but it’s a toughie.  I prefer to laugh at myself and give myself patience that I would give anyone else (why are we the meanest to ourselves?? no one cares about this shit but US!) as I trudge through and do my best.  It struck me the other day that as I work with clients, my inner critics (there’s a whole bloody *tribe* of them) might tell me that I’m not setting a good example, that I’m not walking the walk, and that no one will trust me because of the weight I carry around with me. 

Then I realized that was a bunch of bull shit. HA!

Then these thoughts came through, courtesy of Glenda the Good Witch, whom also resides in my head (no wonder I can’t sleep!): I practice wellness in all the corners of my life.  I do.

I am relatively fit.  I am active and strangely strong.  I have an athlete inside me and she is slowly figuring out how to make an appearance without me laughing at her and drowning her in wine.  I make time for the people in my life that uplift, inspire and love me.  I don’t make time for people that don’t.  I make time to sit around and have downtime, luckily for me though, my down time is never really STILL, as I can’t not be doing something, so I will get work done while catching up on mindless TV, and use my time as wisely as possible.  I still find a way to plan our meals for the week every Sunday and shop accordingly for them. I manage to make Brian’s lunch each night, along with mine.  I even made homemade cookies for Brian’s lunches on the weekend.  I recognize that I can do everything on my big, bad list, but just not all this month, and that’s okay.

I feel well.  I feel like I have some balance and perspective on what these current demands are.  I think clients will see this and won’t be able to hear my tribe of naysayers if they go getting all chatty.  

Hm.