Wednesday Woes II

I love Diary of a Modern Matriarch.  She posted this today at her Primal site, so I jumped right on the complainy bandwagon and well, here we are.  Life is good, blah, blah, blah…and it goes against all my Pollyanna training from my childhood, but I feel like bitching it out.  I refuse to look at the bright side, I refuse to put my chin up.  I am just going to enjoy the suckitude.

• my hips HURT.  My long run on the weekend left my left hip very sore, and now the right is joining in on the fun.  I am just trying to get through to the race before completely falling apart.
• A friend of mine is dating someone that he thinks I “hate” – and that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  I like to see him in the company of people he enjoys and I LOVE to see him happy and the few times I’ve met her, I’ve found her to be wicked-smart, articulate and positively lovely – they’re great together – I don’t waste my time hating anyone because it’s a big fat waste of my time, I just don’t like that it’s affected our friendship in unexpected ways.  He seems to have changed and taken his friendship away since meeting her, and that’s my issue with it.  Doesn’t he know there can be room for everyone?
• Our Dog Nanny has left us, which means I spend lunchtime bolting home to let the cross-legged dog out for a pee.  It also means he is way less socialized lately.  Looking for a new one is making me want to drink.
• It isn’t Friday yet.
• I am not likely to go on a vacation with Man until February of next year.  He is going away in November (on a trip I likely wouldn’t enjoy) and while I know he needs a sunny holiday,  I’m going to miss him like crazy (we’ve never spent more than a week apart in 14 years!) and I wish there had been a little more intention to his vacation planning.  It’s water under the bridge, but it still sucks.
• Tyler Clementi’s story makes me sick.  So does bullying.  I wish he didn’t have to jump from a bridge for us all to realize what needs to be done.
• It looks my last living Gramma has a big tumor in her brain and that she might not be around much longer.
• There are giant spiders in my basement.  Seriously.  I deal with them, but I scream the whole time.

Ok, so maybe I didn’t have that many woes.  In true Me fashion, I will now flip it, even though I didn’t want to do so:

• it is so sunny out that I have trouble dressing in the morning; I bundle up for the morning, but my noon, I’m gleefully ipping off my clothes and opening the sun roof on my car….weeeee!
• I get to go away with Man this weekend to Kelowna for the race.
• Race will be over in 4 sleeps.  Holy crap.
• Man is able to peek in on the dog today, so I can have lunch the way I like it; seated at my desk working
• I ran the fastest 5K in a long time last night. 
• I’m having dinner with a dear friend tonight and I can’t wait to see her
• We have a big exciting month to look forward to: dinners in, dinners out, weekend guests, hot tub soaks, cozy fall stuff.
• I am sure I’ll be getting a PB at the race this weekend, by more than ever before.
• It’s flannel pj season again!
• I’m writing again and it feels good
• I sourced out the perfect furniture for my home office, and it’s even affordable!
• I start my 30 day yoga challenge tomorrow…wee!

What about you? What’s going wrong and right for you?

Reality Check

Where to even start…I have lost about 18 lbs since January of this year, 6 of these in the last month, and I would like to be able to shout it from the rooftops, but the truth is, I feel like a bit of a fraud right now.

I actually can’t tell you how exactly those pounds went away; it certainly wasn’t from exercise, because aside from 2 half-assed runs in the past 2 weeks, I’ve barely moved, insisting that dog walks and my commute to transit on foot each morning counts; it hasn’t been my diet, which has been lacking, non-existent, or closer to what a frat boy would grab on the way to a kegger than what someone who has come to appreciate and honor her body would consume.  Maybe it’s just that I’ve been happy and busy. 

I know I haven’t really felt like cooking a lot, haven’t felt like being in my kitchen (to give you an idea, I finally cleaned up this weekend and found a bag of veggies/lunch remnants on the counter in a reusable shopping bag, and everything in it had leaked, FUSING the bag to the countertop.  This explains the smell in the kitchen, the recent fruit fly infestation, what a lazy slob I am, how infrequently I have been making out with my kitchen.  I have gleefully consumed food put in front of me, but I have zero desire to create any of my own.

I dutifully buy the right foods every Sunday, so they can sit in the fridge and go bad.  I carry the water bottle but don’t drink from it.  I put on the sports bras, but only to kick around the house.

This is not how an athlete eats.  And yes, I have come to think of myself this way.  Not because I am a hard-core Iron Woman, but because if I think of myself as an athlete trapped in this body that still carries too much body fat, if I think of myself this way, then I am on the way to being this way.  It makes sense to me. 

This morning, it struck me as I walked up the stairs with my laundry, that I could feel my back JIGGLING.  This is not good.  I feel great, for the most part, about where I’m at and that all my pants can now be removed without undoing them, But (yes, with a capital B) this feels like a hollow victory.  Like I am now one of those skinny people who are in terrible shape.  I want to be a smaller person with a muscular, fit body. 

In a refocus exercise, I jotted down a few things this morning that will get me on my way:

• scheduled exercise: running (C25K) 3x per week, 30 Day Shred or Bikram’s Yoga 3x per week.  I can get in 30 minutes (see below).  I am not that busy.

• resume eating clean and like I am not on vacation – mindfully, several times per day, including protein and complex carbs at each meal etc, etc.  I know this Shit!
• find some races to run in the coming months – my ideal goal is to get to a really fast 5K, leading me to a faster 10K and eventually a really fast half marathon.  I was inspired/smacked in the head this morning when I learnt that a friend of mine had just run a half in her PB of 1:30.  A year ago today, I was sorely walking about my office after completing my 2nd half marathon the day before – today I couldn’t be farther from that.  Lighter than I was then, but farther in every other respect.  Time to get moving!

Mr. Comedy

Last night, post yoga class:

Me: Yoga was GREAT!  It was like a religious experience tonight. I think I should get an award for the most improved yogi.

Mr Comedy: Do they actually give awards?

Me: Well, no.  But if they did, I would totally get it tonight.  I am a bit of yoga superstar.  I still want you to come with me, will you? 

Mr. Comedy: No.

Me: Do you know what my favorite word at yoga is?

Mr. Comedy: Namaste?

Me: Whoa!  How did you KNOW that?! Yes, it is my favorite!  Do you know what it means?  “The divine being in me salutes the divine being in you” – isn’t that beautiful.  I love it.

Mr.Comedy: You’re wrong, it means “Piss Off” *grin*

Yes folks, he’s here all week.

Happy Day

It occurred to me today, as I was working (and rapidly losing interest in it as the day wore on) that although I have lots I worry about and lots I stress about, I also have a lot of things to be happy about on any given day: 

1. That there always great bargains to be had at the Sally Ann – today I wore an almost-new skirt from Banana Republic that set me back only $4.  I even got a compliment from the CEO!
2. Being too lazy Forgetting to pack a lunch meant I had to treat myself to some California Rolls – cheap meal at $4
3. Time spent last night getting organized, washing stinky yoga gear, changing sheets, showering for an obscenely long time (my usual showers are about 6 min, Mr. Environment)
4. The upcoming weekend, which contains sublists galore…yoga, yoga, and more yoga, meeting a potential new client, hanging with the boys, lots of napping.
5. A new potential coaching client!
6. Haircuts! I don’t want to brag, but I look fantastic.  Truly.
7. The season finale of The Office (squeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!)  I KNEW it!
8. Kisses from Baxter in the morning
9. Arriving at work earlier than usual
10. Open sunrooves, or is it sunroofs?
11. Contact lenses that don’t make we want to gouge my eyes out with a fork.
12. Dog walks in the sunshine

Obviously there’s more, but this is what I thought of…

Well, reader, even I am bored by this post.  Time to pack it in.

At one with the Bikrams

So last summer I invested in a 40-class membership to a local Bikrams yoga studio. The thought was to go throughout the summer and into the fall, and use it to augment my running and lose allllll sorts of weight. I went to four classes right after I bought the pass, one in November, and one in December. Yes, quite the commitment. My problem is that I didn’t actually like it all that much. It felt like a chore to go into the (sometimes literally) stinking hot room, contort myself through all the poses, spending 90 minutes that I could be spending elsewhere. Running was faster and I did have a marathon to train for, so I started opting to do that instead.

Fast forward to last week: I gave Bikrams a second thought, as I really want to drop a few more pounds before trashing my knees by running with all this extra bulk….I went to the website, looked around, logged in, and found that HOLY SHIT I have 34 classes to use up by the end of June (or I lose my money). Well, there’s some motivation I can get behind!

So I am back at it – I hit 3 classes last week, and will get to 4 or 5 this week.  The first two classes, I gave myself permission to not like it, and I really didn’t.  But the 3rd class and the class tonight were AWESOME.  I started really getting in tune with myself, and as I learn what is demanded of the poses, I find I can settle into them and meet them, like old adversaries.  I am improving with each class – deeper, longer, harder – it’s fabulous.  Tonight I was able to get into a tree/toe pose, which I had never been able to before, and I suddenly GOT the camel pose – the teacher even remarked that she could tell a light had gone off for me.  Pretty cool.  I do have some limitations that frustrate me (boobs that prevent me from lying flat on my front, a stomach that is still big enough that it physically gets in the way of what I want to do (touch my forehead to my knee). *sigh* I choose to focus on the good parts.

It’s fun to see what I can do and be able to improve so quickly.  It’s satisfying to be in a pose and see the sweat dripping onto my towel, hearing my heart thunder in my body, but my breath rising and falling as it normally does.  I had to be away this past weekend (away from Bikrams) and I dare say, I missed my classes.  I thought about going all day today, looking forward to leaving a crap-awful day behind.

I don’t tend to have the longest of attention spans, so I am anxious to see if my interest remains after the passes are used up…hope so!

Meme — can’t help it

I found this awhile, and I am SO not in the mood to do any thinking of my own, so here we go:

1. My uncle once: wanted to open a business called IHB Installments.  The IHB stood for “I Hang Blinds”  I thought he was meant for bigger things than that even though I think I was about 12 at the time.  I have always been a coach.

2. Never in my life: have I eaten a Pop Tart

3.When I was five: I had a mushroom haircut

4.High School was:  overrated

5.I will never forget: the fall of 2002

6.I once met: Paul Janz (I’m not surprised you’ve never heard of him).  I squealed like he was Brad Pitt.

7. There’s this girl I know who: just joined a burlesque group. I can’t wait to see her perform.

8. Once, at a bar: I deep-throated a beer bottle to impress a boy.  It may have worked.

9. By noon, I’m usually: already finished 3 meals

10. Last night: I went to yoga then came home.  It was super exciting.

11. If only I had: 3 more basset hounds

12. Next time I go to church: I will light a candle or two.

13.Terry Schiavo: is someone I don’t know

14.What worries me most: is losing either of my parents

15.When I turn my head left, I see: an empty Poang chair (IKEA)

16.When I turn my head right, I see: sleeping, snoring basset hound on the end of the sofa

17.You know I’m lying when: I seem to choke on my own saliva.  It’s quite fetching.

18.What I miss most about the eighties: BIG HAIR

19.If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: the lead.

20.By this time next year: I will be pregnant

21.A better name for me would be: ??(fill in the blank, but be nice.)

22.I have a hard time understanding: what people are thinking when they drive in this city.

23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: marry my coaching with Human Resources

24.You know I like you if: I get cheeky with you

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my husband.

26.Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: would make interesting dinner guests

27.Take my advice, never: stop being grateful

28.My ideal breakfast is: eggs benny, extra hollandaise

29.A song I love, but do not own is: Pachelbel Canon

30.If you visit my hometown, I suggest: a hike up the mountain

31.Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: Spring!, the best parts of us, freaky, fast!

32. Why won’t people: stop realize there is more out there for them

33.If you spend the night at my house: I’ll feed you food, Brian will feed you martinis

34. I’d stop my wedding for: a visit from Bon Jovi

35. The world could do without: selfishness

36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: listen to the dog drink water

37. My favorite blonde is: my niece

38: Paper clips are more useful than: our cat

39. If I do anything well, it’s: plan

40.And by the way: I’m not here to be quiet.

Mugs

Recap: sales meeting that went all morning, lunch that went wayyy too long, time at my desk furiously catching up that went way too quickly, 2 client meetings that went well (at which I heard the expression “Gee whiskers!” several times??), a quick stop into Costco wherein I managed to drop $100 on new sheets, new pillows, a cookbook and 3 workout videos, a yoga practice during which I realized just how little exercise I have done over the last five weeks (I did plenty of training with my fork…but it doesn’t seem to have worked – go figure), a dinner that was both well-planned and yummy, lazing about on the sofa with a napping, snoring, dreaming dog, shedding tears at the Biggest Loser.

The night also included photos with the somewhat-reluctant dog:

 

B and the Puppy - the start of the shoot

 

Blue Steel and Blue Yawn

 

Exhaustion

Photo Tuesday is likely supposed to be more interesting…but these ARE photos, and I’m the boss here.